Siblinghood

I received a Dear John letter recently. It was said that I have “emotional affairs”; that I crossed boundaries that, to her, felt romantic or emotionally exclusive. This was not my intent. But, this was how my actions have been received. I question how to be, after losing my wife of more than fifty-four years.

I know I don’t want to feel ‘possessed’. I am at a place where living LOVE is important to me. I want to be free to love whoever I please; not romantically, but like a close sibling.

Can a man be deeply affectionate, emotionally open and loving toward women without that affection being romantic? The answer to me is clearly yes. But, it gets a little hairy when there is a romantic relationship involved. I believe it takes a high level of trust and communication for it to work.

How do we communicate that intention clearly enough that the other person experiences the relationship that way too?

Men especially can sometimes be deprived of deep, emotionally open friendships because our culture teaches men to keep certain feelings to themselves. A siblinghood perspective says, Why?

A brother can tell his sister he loves her.
A sister can tell her brother she misses him.
They can talk about life, death, hopes, fears, spirituality, memories and dreams.

What if we treated everyone we meet as a brother or sister we hadn't met before?

Romantic love says, "I choose you."
Sibling love says, "I recognize you."
Universal love says, "I recognize myself in you."

Uniting