I tried to bring in help for Patty - she's not ready - it didn't work. It went ok for a couple hours, and then the aide, a fine person, was asked to go home. She did. This is the third time I tried - I stroke out. The VNA is probably going to ignore me, at least for awhile.
I know. I know. I shouldn't take this on full time, but I am going to. I am going to look at it as TDY - Temporary duty. Actually, I feel good about it, for now. Patty is my top priority and sometimes our top priorities take us out of balance for awhile.
With being out of balance in mind, I will take advantage of Patty wanting me to do what I want - she not expressing any desires - and arrange for things to do together that I desire. For instance, I want to see my Fidelity adviser in Portland Maine - I called today to arrange a visit. We will meet with him for an hour or two and spend a night at a B&B on the ocean, which will include both of us getting up at dawn to walk the beach and seek an image to capture. I will do the same type of thing in southern Vermont, while going to the Robert Frost museum.
Some parts of these short trips Patty will enjoy, I know. She may not express pleasure but I get glimpses of joy in the eyes. Regardless, I am going to seek beauty and enjoyment, with Patty. It will work for awhile. I can't think beyond.
And, when at home, I will spend some time in the field, watering the saplings, or in the Studio, making big prints - both activities are like being in the back yard. I will put a camera's eye on Patty to always be in some contact. She doesn't like to be alone, but is reluctantly ok with it, until she calls - gone an hour or two - and wonders where I am. I know I will be in and out of the house, a lot, but I need more exercise anyway.
Am I crazy? You'll let me know when I am too far out of balance, won't you?